The Authentic Self

What Is An Authentic Self?

 

Carl Jung stated it this way: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”

 

Definition: The authentic Self is one that is not false or copied. It is the Self that is present when no one is looking. It is genuine and real, expressing your true nature or beliefs, which means living from your values. It requires doing what gives meaning in your life rather than doing what is expedient or expected by others.  It ultimately wastes a lot of time and energy trying to please others or society. It’s better to focus on creating a Self and a life that feeds your soul and gives you a sense of true purpose.

I believe that an authentic self is also operating energetically from the Law of Love. When this Law is fully active, a person feels interconnected, operates in integrity, and experiences peace, harmony, and understanding in all of its activities. Authentic individuals are able to give and receive unconditional love, even in challenging situations involving intractable conflicts. This allows them to evolve.

Holding a Parrot

An Authentic Life means:

 

  • Coming from a real place within you.

  • Taking the high road and reaching into your unconscious for courage and drive to accomplish what is personally meaningful.

  • Your beliefs are what control your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

  • Examining your actions and words in order to be congruent with your values and beliefs.

  • Not living from a False Self is whom you or others think you “should” be. There are no “shoulds” in being authentic.

  • Taming your inner demons, so they don’t interfere with you operating out of your authentic self.

  • Remember, if you can name your inner demons, you can tame them.

  • Part of increasing your PsyQ, or psychological intelligence, means understanding why you believe as you do, and how you came to these beliefs.

  • Finding your authentic or True Self requires sorting through your beliefs in order to find those that are truly yours—that you are willing to stake your life on.

  • Being authentic first involves finding out what is real through your own experience, not fantasy or projection.

  • Not being threatened or intimidated by other people’s differences. This means not judging others because they are different.

  • Authenticity is not a static existence. It involves constantly taking risks that make you shift your beliefs, values, and priorities.

  • Constantly learning more about yourself, challenging all of your beliefs, new and old ones, and sorting through and identifying your “baggage.”

  • Facing your fears and doubts; reaching deep inside yourself to find what makes your heart sing and your spirit soar.

  • Living free and unburdened by the challenges that life brings you.

  • Following your destiny rather than being trapped by your fate. Fate is what life hands you and destiny is what you do with it.

  • Giving and receiving unconditional love to the maximum of your ability.

  • Doing what has a lasting purpose to your life, including service to causes that are larger than your Self

Suggested Next Steps

Here are some things that can help you move forward on your journey to create an authentic life.
 

  1. Take the Individual Self-Assessment Inventory.

  2. Identify items where you scored low.

  3. Begin with the items keyed to the codependent or counter-dependent stage
    behaviors (Items # 1-14 in the self-assessment).

  4. Find the resources on this website designed to help you improve your score
    on items keyed to these areas:

    • Purchase and read my books like Breaking Free of the Codependency Trap or The Flight From Intimacy.

    • Purchase and read my book, GET REAL: The Hazards Of Living Out Of Your False Self.

    • Read page posts on topics related to codependency or counter-dependency.

    • View my podcasts on aspects of authenticity. (GET REAL with Dr. Barry Weinhold on YouTube or audio only on Spotify).

    • Watch or listen to my interviews of me on these topics.

    • Take and score the additional self-quizzes:  How Codependent Are You? or How Counter-Dependent Are You? They can help you target specific areas to focus.

    • Download and fill out the Self-Quizzes available on the Podcast.

    • Read testimonials from those who have used these resources.

    • Take my online course series Freaked Out 101, to help you identify and heal any unhealed childhood traumas.

  5. Select the above resource(s) that draw you the most.

  6. Download or read any information on this website related to authenticity.

  7. Use the many free resources on this website, such as blogs, articles, etc.