Books by Dr. Barry Weinhold

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Get Real: The Hazards of Living Out of Your False Self

This book shows you how to move out of overusing your False Self and strengthening your True Self. Your False Self shows up in two very different ways: as a deflated or depressed False Self and an inflated or narcissistic False Self. Some people have symptoms stemming from both conditions. The hazards you face by living out of your False Self, in either case, include victim behaviors, depression, anxiety, addictions, narcissistic behaviors, toxic shame, projections, and poor decisions that likely involve you trying to please others rather than being true to yourself. Are you ready to change that?

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How To Break Free of The Drama Triangle & Victim Consciousness

How To Break Free of  The Drama Triangle & Victim Consciousness will show you how to get off the Drama Triangle, heal old trauma, and dismantle crippling victim consciousness patterns learned in your family-of-origin that trap you in hopeless and helplessness.

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Intimate Combat: Conflict Resolution Skills For Couples

After working with many couples and others in my private practice as a licensed psychologist, I have found the two most prevalent reasons they have trouble resolving their conflicts: A lack of an understanding of how past unresolved conflicts and unhealed traumas “bleed through” and make it more difficult to resolve their current conflicts, and a lack of skills in conflict resolution. This book provides information and skill training that addresses these two issues for anybody who is experiencing a conflict. Without addressing these two problems, people usually avoid resolving their conflicts at all costs. 

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Real Men Series: Book One – The Male Mother: The Missing Skill Set For Fathers

This book is the first in a series of four books aimed at helping men develop and integrate their feminine side. The culture has emphasized the masculine side of men and devalued the feminine side. This has left many fathers, who may want to be a vital part of raising their kids, without the nurturing skills necessary to do the job.

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Real Men Series: Book Two – The Servant Leader: What the World Needs Now

This book presents a radically new approach to leadership at all levels. Drawing on ancient principles first proposed by Lao Tsu, a sixth century B.C. Chinese philosopher, the author presents a new, and refreshing look at what a future world might look like if we had more servant leaders at all levels.

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Real Men Series: Book Three – The Wise Elder: The Missing Skill Set For Male Elders

The Wise Elder represents Logos, which, according to Jung, also is a feminine principle. He is the archetype behind a multitude of professions like doctors, lawyers, teachers, and clergy. He mentors younger men using the wisdom he has gained through his experiences. By using his intuition he is able to see the unseen.

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Real Men Series: Book Four – The Open-Hearted Lover: Love Is All You Need

Only through supporting the union of our feminine and masculine sides can our culture prosper and grow. The Open-Hearted Lover embraces the “we,” not the “me” in relationships and society. The shadow of the Lover is impotent, sterile, and without compassion. He also can destroy spiritual connections between people with just one cynical remark.

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Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way

The book is divided into four parts. Part One provides an overview of the Partnership Way, its theoretical foundation, and the key components of the model. In Part Two, readers learn how to apply the model to resolve interpersonal conflicts concerning wants, needs, values, and beliefs. Part Three demonstrates how to resolve intractable conflicts that involve unmet needs related to unhealed development traumas. The final part of the text focuses on the application of the Partnership Way to resolving conflicts in schools, professions, communities, cultures, nation-states, and the history of the human race.

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Developmental Trauma: The Game Changer in the Mental Health Profession

Recent research indicates that one’s beliefs about stress, not stress itself, determine whether it is positive or negative. This book helps readers change their beliefs about stress, and reframe the concept of developmental trauma into developmental growth. This perspective empowers readers toward intrapsychic integration and personal transformation.

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Twisted Beliefs Series: Book One - Distorting The Lines Between Fantasy and Reality

This first book in the Twisted Beliefs series is about the power of your personal and collective beliefs to control and distort your life and relationships. Most people form their core beliefs before the age of 10 and they persist into adulthood unless we examine them and change them. If your beliefs are twisted in any way, they can lead you to make poor decisions and engage in self-defeating behaviors.

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Twisted Beliefs Series: Book Two – The Twisted Beliefs Of Human Predators

In order to protect yourself from being targeted by human predators, you need to learn more about how how to spot their twisted beliefs behind their thoughts and behaviors. If we believe they think and act just like we do, we will become an easy target of their predation. Because of their twisted beliefs, they are very different people from whom they pretend to be. This book looks under every rock and behind every Big Lie to show you how their twisted beliefs have caused these people to think and act in very different ways than we are used to.

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Twisted Beliefs Series: Book Three – How To Identify And Change Your Twisted Beliefs

How do lies, shaming, and judgment affect you? Most people can give you a long list of what they believe is wrong with them but are hard-pressed to think of any good qualities. Most of us are told we’re not “good enough” in some important way and told enough times that we believed this must be true. This process begins very early in life. Research shows that parents say the word “no” to their child over 20,000 times before he/she reaches the age of two. And most of this is delivered with judging and shaming facial expressions. Most people don’t realize how damaging it is to base their life on twisted beliefs. If this happened to you, what can you do to change your negative beliefs about yourself?

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Twisted Beliefs Series: Book Four – Beyond Beliefs: The Journey of The Gnostic Warrior

What lies beyond your beliefs is your personal freedom! You can live your life free from the undo influences of twisted collective beliefs manufactured by spin-masters of the mainstream media. They work hard to get you to believe their lies and distortions because it makes it easier for them to confuse and control you. This book, Beyond Beliefs: The Journey of the Gnostic Warrior, will help change any misperceptions (chains) you may have about these twisted beliefs. By reading this book you will discover the personal freedom that lies beyond your beliefs: your inner knowing of the truth and how to use it to chart the course of your life’s journey.

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Twisted Beliefs Series - How They Cause Premature Hardening of the Categories

Do you know someone who seems to be smart but also has self-defeating or maybe even self-destructive behavior? I would describe these people as suffering from premature hardening of the categories. In other words, they hold on to rigid and twisted beliefs that keep them stuck in their development. This book helps you, the reader, learn what these twisted beliefs look like, where they came from, what hidden effects they can have on your life, and how you can change this situation.

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Freaked Out: How Hidden Developmental Traumas Can Disrupt Your Life and Relationships

Are you freaked out by hidden developmental traumas that disrupt your life and relationships?   It is hard enough to be a human being. You, like many people, freak out just trying to cope with the stress from competition to be better than those around you. And you have conflicting thoughts where you judge, criticize and second-guess your every move and feeling state. It’s easy to get confused and anxious in your attempts to be successful and happy.

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Betrayal and the Path of the Heart

Betrayal and the Path of the Heart provide a framework for using betrayals to open your heart, to better understand yourself and others, and for expanding your consciousness. My own experiences of coping with betrayal, both in my own life and in those of my many clients, helped me discover a unique approach to using betrayal as a growth experience.

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Breaking Free: Identifying and Changing Your Addictive Family Patterns

Breaking Free: Identifying and Changing Your Addictive Family Patterns describes 12 addictive behavior patterns that prevent sustainability in your adult relationships.  They say the first five years are the formative years and give you a foundation for the rest of your life. However, if you had conflicts that were not resolved or traumas you didn’t heal during that time, you will have cracks in your foundation that will make your adult life less successful than it could have been.

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Breaking Family Patterns: How to Change Your Family Patterns

Breaking Family Patterns: How To Change Your Family Patterns will help you stop replaying unconscious patterns from your family of origin in your adult relationships and with your children. Most people don’t understand how and why this happens, so they feel powerless to change things. This practical how-to book contains many stories about how I changed my life by identifying and breaking my dysfunctional family patterns. It will help you not only break free of your family patterns but also change your life.

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Breaking Free of the
Co-Dependency Trap

This bestselling book, now in a revised edition, radically challenges the prevailing medical definition of co-dependency as a permanent, progressive, and incurable addiction. Rather, the authors identify it as the result of developmental traumas that interfered with the infant-parent bonding relationship during the first year of life.

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The Flight From Intimacy: Healing Counter-dependency

The Flight From Intimacy describes counter-dependent behaviors as being caused by unhealed trauma during the toddler stage of development. People flee intimacy as a way of protecting themselves from the effects of their unidentified and unprocessed developmental trauma in early childhood. This book contains exercises to help you identify your counter-dependent behaviors, connect them to what happened to you as a child, and find ways to heal these traumas. This problem can be easily fixed once you know how it got broken.